Don't feel like going up to his house even though I am right below his block.
How come this scene seem all too familiar?
It's like.
I am stuck in my own emotional war, torn apart.
Today finally marks the end of the whole VOX event.
I had a wonderful group, with guy and girls who are thoughtful and lovable.
But it doesn't change the stress I felt when I have to tank the whole group myself, all alone, when I don't even know how use Premier CS.
After the whole event.
I dragged my stuffs, on the way to his house.
I thought k can, finally end of event, maybe can spend the day at his house finally without needing to think of assignments, at least for that fee hours, before I attend Boon's event tomorrow and start all over on the assignments again.
When he suddenly told me, his friends are coming.
Seriously, I like his friends.
But them coming over mean the whole room will be bursting with talkings and they'll go and smoke and smoke and I don't think I can rest well.
And after dealing with so many people at school, I would just, selfishly, love to spend some quiet time with my boyfriend without having to feel stress.
Forget about that since in the end, they are not coming.
I am tired, so tired because I slept less than a total of 16 hours in the span of 3 days, my mood is all fluctuating and the assignments that are waiting for me are stressing me out so much I feel my back bending more than 90 degree because they are weighing on me so much so much so much.
And I was like wishing.
Maybe my boyfriend can perhaps.
For the rare times in his life, step out of his comfort zone and do something thoughtful on his own accord like knowing I am so tired, help me carry my laptop or something, fetching me from the train station.
No, nothing.
He didn't even bother texting me or calling to check where I am and why I am not reaching his house even though it's more than 30 minutes since I last replied him.
I don't know how tell him how upset I feel, I don't wanna make him feel bad about himself where he'll just say he's a horrible boyfriend and all.
Sometimes, I feel like screaming at him, if you think you're a horrible boyfriend then try and put that little more effort.
But I can't.
Because he already announced on Facebook that he can't be a Romeo.
And I am still badly hurt over that post.
So much that all the hurt I felt before when I was with Alee are starting to come back one by one, slowly and I strongly, at this moment, feel that I need a break, and I wanna go back to the time when I was so motivated to improve my life, back to the time when I just know about Vemma.
But I can't.
I am stuck with this relationship that I don't know what to do about it.
So I have a lot of emotions in me I cannot tell my boyfriend.
Because I know it won't help.
Since he's like.
Someone who's just too lazy to do things he don't want to.
I totally shouldn't be complaining now.
At least my boyfriend isn't cheating on me.
And it's just two weeks we're together.
But how come it seems that I am so worn out and I wanna withdraw from this whole thing already..?