It's another round of emotional war inside me.
I'm struggling to move on, but something's holding me back.
I wanna fix the damage, but I'm suddenly feeling too lazy to do anything about it.
I have so many things I wanna talk to Gin about.
It used to be too much work, no time to say.
I can say I got the time in the world now.
But I don't know how to say what I wanna say anymore.
I know I am selfish.
But I don't like it when I feel as though my best friends are stolen.
I know it's not the truth.
But somehow I just feel that way.
It makes me feel terrible that they're the only people I can talk to.
And yet, they're the people my words often hurt.
I hate myself, truly, at this moment now.
I'm even starting to dislike people in the FAMily I wanted to bond in so much with.
It's like having this unwashable stain away on your life journey.
I can't do a single shit about it.
Every word haunts me even to now.
To do, to do not?
To be, to be not?