♬ Recount for 28 May 2013 ♬

Yesterday.

My team (Queenie and YiZhen) and I (duhz) have a presentation.

On Taoism.

>< we only had 28 slides (around there).

But we had to tank for 60 mins, at least.

Thank god somehow, we did.

And I was timing us.

:) we ended the presentation with this timing.

In my pervious post, I also stated the DJ Hunt event :) .

And OMG I saw 3 of YES93.3's DJ.

:) they are, DJ PeiFen who I always liked since young, besides DJ JiaHui.

DJ JiaFa and DJ ZhiYong ^^ .

So who is PeiFen?

The lady standing beside me all the way on the extreme left in the photo below ^^ .

And the guy on the extreme right?

He's DJ JiaFa :) .

Both of them are really really good-looking.

Of course, DJ ZhiYong, who was like their team captain, was there too.

And DJ Ivy ^^ , who was the host for the day.

I was the 15th person to sign up.

>< I think the way I typed on Instagram lead to misunderstandings that I came in 15th.

But nooo, here's to clarify :) out of the 80 plus contestants, I was the 15th to register.

The two pictures of myself above were taken after I got down from the stage.

>< we were given a script of approximately 5 short news to prepare for.

3 more formal news, and 2 more of entertainment news.

The original criteria was self-intro, talent display and news reading.

The news reading was reading aloud LOLZ.

And I was like, god, when was the last time I done that >< .

But before it got to me, the talent display segment was omitted to save time.

:D good for me, `cuz honestly, I don't have any talent to display...

Though I escaped it this time.

But I think I seriously need to have some talent for any future competition I wanna participate in.

Nevertheless, this is considered difficult because of the financial situation.

Else, I would love to take up singing lessons.

Because voice is really important to me.

>< or maybe, I will wanna learn GuZheng or the piano.

Anyway, I stuttered alot during my self-intro.

Totally blanked out on what to say ): .

I had so much wanted to express my passion for radio broadcasting.

For YES93.3.

But apparently, that doesn't seem to be possible.

When I stand on the stage without much preparation for my self-intro.

Which was why I sincerely pray that the DJs can understand the passion I have.

Like what I tweeted yesterday.

So many other people share this dream with me.

Some for fame, some for fun.

But to me, it's passion.

Really passion.

And I have nothing besides this passion to keep me motivated towards this dream.

I know I am not the best but I really really want to become part of YES93.3 in the broadcasting area.

I think I fare slightly better in the news reading.

I didn't had much time to prepare for it...

Not to mention some of the difficult Chinese words >< .

But thank God I asked Jasmine and ChunYi (she was 16th).

While I was practising.

:) , to be honest, I am quite proud of myself in that segment.

Because I did better than what I expect.

Thank god the DJ chose one that I was more comfortable with.

Should any of them requested for the entertainment news.

Which has a lot of digits, names and percentages, I am gonna just.

Probably embarrass myself >< .

Throughout the whole waiting since 11AM, before I got up the stage.

I kept thinking, what will happen to this dream of mine.

What if, I screwed it up?

I mean, since young, I have a lot of dreams.

Being a nurse, lawyer, teacher.

I don't mind being a teacher, I guess.
I hopped from ambitions to ambitions.

But a radio DJ, is something that I dreamt of being and that never changed.

Like I mentioned in my application form for intern and this DJ Hunt.

I feel that radio is not just an ordinary media to spread information.

It's a media that can accompany people when they feel lonely.

Because when it's just the person, and the radio (together with the DJ).

It's as though the person is listening to the DJ speaking to him.

:) I don't know if people can still feel this nowadays.

Seeing that TV, or the Internet has already start to take people's attention away from radio...

But that was exactly how I felt, when I was much younger.

And I slept alone.

And like LiYi LaoShi said before.
A DJ is like everyone's friend.
:) , and not just a radio DJ.

(That was when I felt even more affirmed that yes, I wanna be a radio DJ.)

And me.
I wanna be this friend to all my listeners.

I hate feeling lonely.
And I hope to be someone who can help make people feel less lonely.

Radio was my company.

And I used to tune it to YES93.3 for all the nice songs.

I will hop from stations to stations but in the end, I will always come back to YES93.3.

Did I mention what will happen should I screw it up?

My dreams.

Just a few days ago.

I experiences what it was like.

To be drained of hopes and dreams.

I can say that it kills, more than loneliness.

I am living because I think I have hope for myself.

I am living because I wanna fulfill my dreams.

Be it to be a radio DJ, or to have a family, etc.

For without dreams, I am nothing.

In that moment when I feel like my dreams and hopes are all gone.

I was just lying there.

Wondering what have I been living for.

Wondering if there's a purpose in whatever I am doing anymore.

I was dragged into fear.

I was afraid that I will never see hope.

Or I won't ever have any dreams anymore.

It was devastating, in a way I cannot describe.

I felt horrible.

But of course :) , I am fine now.

I got back my hopes, my dreams.

In a way, I 'updated' or 'upgraded' my dreams and hopes ^^ !

Not to mention this gigantic step I took to participate in the DJ Hunt.

Of course, the worry is still there.

My confidence and motivation towards this dream will definitely suffer a big blow.

(Which I most likely will.)

Should I not have any progress in this DJ Hunt.

But at least, I have a consolation that.

Heyz, at least I tried ^^ .

Of course, I won't let myself stay upset for long.

According to the DJ Hunt.

It's open to people age 16 to 30.

SO.

I still have 11 more years to try :D .

And I definitely won't stop.

Unless they suddenly decrease the age restriction.

Which I hope they won't...

Cuz I am scared that I won't be able to get myself somewhere even close before they do.

So right here, right now.

I am praying that.

My sincerity has touched the higher beings.

The divine beings.

And may they assist me.

Somehow.

In getting myself near to this dream.

The hope I carry all this while.