Someone told me before that.
My self-defence is really strong.
But to me, I don't think so.
I remember what my primary school told me before.
That when you're in Primary school, the friends you make are only for awhile.
After all, everyone is still young.
And at that time, Facebook didn't exist.
So, yes, keeping contact wasn't easy.
So the friends you make in secondary school are probably friends.
Who are truthful and will stay with you.
It's the best time to make friends.
Friends who will stay with you for life.
Sadly for me, my lower and upper secondary school life was sad.
Thanks to a bitch from the same primary school that I went to.
We were classmates, tablemates, and she betrayed me, that bitch.
So I went on to Poly with the fear to interact with people.
Yet at the same time, I wish to make more friends.
But somehow I fail.
Lolz, and recently, I feel that, despite efforts to communicate with each other.
Contempt is still building up within us.
I find it sad why people have to backstab one another.
To me, results are important.
But results are not everything.
Just this morning, I had another hiccup with Val.
She's currently out of the classroom with Queenie.
Perhaps they're discussing about me, over what happened this morning.
I don't know.
I love school, honestly, I love school.
I love this school even though it's far from where I stay.
I love my course even though I cannot cope with quite a number of assignments.
Honestly, I really love this school, this course, most of the teachers.
But I am tired of dealing with people.
I am tired of how people talk about one another.
Be in about me, or about others.
In front of me, or somewhere out of my earshot.
I am sick of people whispering right in front of me.
Tired of wondering if people are talking about me.
I know, I would prolly feel better if I care less about these.
But I just don't understand.
Why must humans be so selfish, so ugly.
Why?
I am not trying to be the innocent party or the saint here.
I am just sick of being me sometimes in school.
The only comfort is that I have friends outside school.
Who I love and cherish dearly.
And that the people I see in school are not people I have to deal with in my whole life.
I don't hate them, or anything.
But I just feel like trash sometimes in front of all of them.
I don't know if it's my low self-esteem acting up.
Or what came over me.
But this is Jaze here giving a sit rep of her emotions now.