Hiyoz, why my ahma ask about Alee, Puan also ask about Alee >< .
Puan texted me today, telling me she missed me.
I texted with her, updated her on some of the things in my life.
Mainly, the passing away of my grandma, and that I am attached to another guy.
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Babe is talking to me again :D .
I are a happy girl.
I cannot describe how much emotional baggage I feel unloaded from my shoulders!!
Nevertheless, I am still indebted to her, I know.
): , and I wanna make it up to her ^^ .
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Recently, especially these past few days, I am rather disappointed with someone.
Hahahaz.
I hate it especially when I introduce friends and they're closer than I am to any of them.
Becoming BFF and neglecting me.
It's not just annoying, it's disturbing.
It makes me jealous somewhere somehow.
~_~ .
But anyway, lolz, all the best luhz.
I shall convince myself not to be so selfish D< .
And of course, steer myself away from this selfish route I am heading towards.
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I finally added photos that I took on my phone to my laptop ^^ .
Hehehe, I need to clear up my laptop soon, transferring some stuffs from the laptop to the harddisk ): .
Else when school reopen, alot of things are gonna clog up.
Which brings me to a new point.
My new timetable came out.
Monday is lesson-less.
:0 .
And anyway, I am not that looking forward to video production ): .
It makes me lose all confidence and self-esteem...
>< handling the camera makes me feel sleepy.
Like instantly...
On a random note, I scared I forgot what I added into my harddisk and what I have not.
>< or miss out anything ): .
Ohgoddddd, I need my harddisk soon.
And and and, most of my stuff are still at Gin's house ): .
I need to bring it back to me soon.
Since I still have like around 40 days to clear before I can enter anyone's house.
>_> .
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I forgot what I wanna post @@.
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-DanceCult- got Free-2 straight, 6 hours, 6 hours.
Total 12 hours :D , channel is still on at this moment LOLZ.
Super lucky >< hehehee.
This FAM have 19.2k FP now with everyone's hard work :) .
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To Gin:
You ahz you ahz.
): everytime say wanna pei me Audii end up sleeping de.
Sigh.
I am fine with you not being able to Audii with me lahz.
I understand you have alot of things to do, and you really did try.
Just that when you give me hopes that you will Audii with me.
I will feel ): when you suddenly tell me you tired and cmi to play.
Besides, you had time to Facebook, surf web.
I just thought if you cut down on those.
Maybe you would have time after all.
But I know lahz, that surf web etc, is the minor minor breaks that you take while studying, apart from the long long break, for example, playing Dota.
Being the girl behind a guy who's working hard is not easy siaz.
Serious.
>< no wonder they say, behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind every man who fail is also a woman.
Yesterday, when you and I chatted on the phone, I was crying silently, heart aching at the moment when you said how much I could affect you, how much I could change the way you look at things.
All along, I thought you was the only one who could affect me, change the way I look at certain things, remind me of the right things I should do, remind me of the right attitude and mindset that I should have.
It's through that phone call, that suddenly, it dawn on me, how much emotional burden you are carrying on yourself, and I selfishly, didn't help because I am just too childish to notice it.
And how important I am to you, how much you value me.
How each and every of my words and actions can affect you.
For your studies, I know you are working damn hard, damn hard.
But in the midst of working, I hope you remember what you told me.
Remind yourself, the attitude you reminded me to have.
I know, you know, how much more you could have achieved, obtaining your diploma already when everyone our age, including me, was trying to finish 'O's, trying to enter poly, JC whatever.
And going for your Bachelor which you gave up on because of Legends.
I felt that it is a waste and all, that you're stuck here, where you are now.
I feel sad that you think you are the worst amongst everyone in your family.
But if things didn't happen this way, you and I will prolly never ever meet...
I am not saying I am that good until I can make up for what you missed out on due to the past decisions, but if that didn't happened, this wouldn't happen.
Your life will totally be different.
Maybe you won't get to know the friends you know now.
>< .
I know you have screwed it up and disappointed your parents.
But remember that they never gave up on you :) .
And I will never give up on you too, stupid.
I respect your father.
Everytime I look at him, a sense of admiration will overwhelm me as I think to myself, this is the man who brought up my boyfriend well.
This is the man, who is wise and just.
Remember how I said you dad gives me the feeling of the Fuhrer in Fullmetal Alchemist?
He's just, smart, fit, wise, witty, etc etc, -inserts many many good points- , you know, like, he's a good man.
:D , and I am really glad I get to know you, your dad, your mum and your little brother who is so damn freaking smart, prolly smarter than you and me LOLZ.
Back to the point though.
So, just take good care of yourself when you mug so hard.
Especially when I am not beside you >< .
Your meals, dear, remember take them.
^ , or maybe I don't need to worry about that because you're a pig.
The lights, dear, don't spoil your eyes further.
I know I am getting naggier, but you also know that that's because I care about you right?
For Legends, I totally feel it's selfish of Rem to make that decision alone, neglecting the fact how much effort you put in making Legends to where it is today.
Sometimes, or even, ever since I joined Legends, I feel it was unjust for you, to always be second to Rem, and letting him have the limelight and all.
I am not trying to screw the friendship, or what.
>< , I like Rem too, as a friend, as a Shifu.
I mean, if he'd let me, I wish I can be a good friend to him too.
But it's just unfair, how I see, that he claims almost all the credits.
Maybe Agent, he deserves it, but Legends.
I really feel upset that I cannot do a shit about it.
It's not within my ability.
Because I am too new, and negligible inside that FAM.
Though I myself, love Legends, a lot a lot, somehow.
And I think, if I got to know more people.
And am much closer to everyone than I am now, I can do much much much more.
I am sorry that I can't dear.
I am sorry that I can do nothing but to watch Legends, as it slowly falls apart and being uncertain if everything can be fixed back.
I read what Max posted earlier on.
I feel that him leaving Legends wasn't wrong.
And for some points, I totally can understand his POV.
>< , it sucks that friends, that were once that close.
Turn to be foes and almost dislike each other TTM now.
): I feel sad just knowing about it.
Remember the emotional barrier you mentioned?
I'm still waiting for us to overcome it together :) .
I know you always feel like a bad boyfriend, because I make you feel that way.
The fact that we never, seldom, whatever, go out on a real, proper, romantic date.
Nor the funny and sad fact that we never ever watched a single movie at the cinema before.
Perhaps because of finance issue, perhaps because of time factor.
Despite all those obstructions, I still love you.
And even so, even for what are mentioned, my feelings for you never did once dropped.
Instead, with every second that pass, I know I love you more.
While other couples are out there, dating from time to time, watching movies, taking strolls, going to theme parks, etc etc, we are just stuck at home most of the time, gaming, watching anime, eating home cook food :x .
Kekeke, I guess, it's a whole new experience that I am getting LOLZ.
Or prolly around the same as my first relationship.
But that's ok ^^ .
We seem to have more private time alone :x .
Hahaz.
Ohyesyes, and like what they always say in Vemma.
While other teenagers are out there partying, enjoying their lives.
We're here making use of our time, to do things that are practical.
So it will be the opposite in the future ^^ .
While other people are out there slogging their life off, for work.
We'll be enjoying ourselves, going for holidays :D .
And retiring at the age of 30, kk?
LOLZ it sounds all too impossible and all >< but I guess it's possible if we work hard enough from where we are now :) , ain't it?
And it is indeed good to have something to look forward to :) .
All in all, I just wanna tell you that, Azriel Tay.
I love you, and I care for you.
And I wanna go through all the obstacles, big and small with you.
Even if we fight, and argue, say mean things which hurt.
I still wanna be standing with you, enduring all the hard times, and enjoying the good times.
:) , just don't ever give up on me k.
Don't.
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Kk I think I am starting to be sleepy.
Hmmmmmmz.
>< , god, school starting.
MY BODY CLOCK.