At this moment now, I can't really think straight.

Inside me, an emotional tug-o-war is raging.

I am having conflicting thoughts.
I hear many voices in my head.
I'm trying to listen to every single one of them.

The voices are dying now.
One by one.
For now, all I can hear is myself.

A single soul trapped in this body.
I want to scream out, so loud then drop.

Free-fall.

But guess what, the voices are coming back.

Is it because my trust in everyone is fading?

I feel that nowadays, no one can seem to understand.
I have to confess that I am losing faith in the belief that someone will actually listen to me without judging me.

Not even Sweetheart and Babe.
A voice inside me keep telling me they've heard until they are too sick of it.

Not Gin.
A voice inside me tells me, he's not gonna understand.
Proven so many times, and even just earlier on today.

Not Boon, anymore.
A voice inside me tells me, he's just gonna tell me not to think so much.
Not saying he don't care, but the feel is just different.

A voice is asking me, am I barricading them away?
Another voice asks me, or have they pushed me away, because we no longer seem to have a common interest, much.
At least, between me and them.

A voice asks me, if I play MStar more, will I feel closer to them?
A voice asks me, by keeping up with Vongola's chat, will I eventually blend in?
Cuz motherfuckers like Nigel gives me the creeps.
But another voice tells me, at least most Vongola members are nice.

A voice asks me, how long will Audii last.
And another voice asks me, 10 years down, what will happen between me and Audii?

A voice asks me, what have I done for my friends?
And another voice is telling me, I suck as a friend cuz I never really seem to do anything for them.
Especially Babe, since young, she has been the one giving in to me.
And if I am not wrong, she was the one who started talking to me.
After our last big fight.
If she hadn't, I probably wouldn't have such a good sister now.

A voice tells me this internship will turn out fine, I will learn from it.
Another voice tells me, this whole internship is kind of screwed up.
And till now, I am still trying to persuade myself to make the best out of it.
Jeannie is a really good supervisor.
I hate to feel like I am letting her down.

A voice tells me every relationship has its own uniqueness.
But another tells me, mine is lacking something.
Perhaps passion, perhaps romance, perhaps spice?
Sometimes, it feels like "habit" more like "romance".

Whatever I listed, are just some of the voices I keep hearing.
Keep trying to vie for my attention.
To be honest, I am even amazed with how I can manage to type to post.

Now excuse me while I drown in my own sorrow before I try to go back to normal.